Gaslighting by Adult Children: 9 Signs to Watch For
Gaslighting is a form of psychological abuse in which the abuser manipulates the victim into doubting their own sanity, perception, or memories. Gaslighting can be very damaging, and it can be difficult to recognize.
If you are concerned that your adult child may be gaslighting you, here are 9 things to look for:
They deny or minimize your feelings.
When you tell your adult child how they make you feel, they may deny or minimize your feelings. They may say things like, “You’re being too sensitive” or “You’re overreacting.”
They make you feel worthless or stupid.
Gaslighters often try to make their victims feel worthless or stupid. They may criticize you constantly, or they may make you feel like you’re not good enough.
They make you question your own sanity.
Gaslighters often try to make their victims question their own sanity. They may say things like, “You’re remembering things wrong,” or “You’re not thinking clearly.”
They make you feel like you’re always to blame.
Gaslighters often make their victims feel they’re always to blame for everything that goes wrong. They may take no responsibility for their own actions, and they may always blame you for their problems.
They make you feel like you’re walking on eggshells.
Gaslighters often make their victims feel like they’re walking on eggshells. You may feel like you can’t say or do anything right, and you may be constantly worried about upsetting them.
They make you feel like you’re losing your mind.
Gaslighting can be very confusing and disorienting. You may start to doubt your own sanity, and you may feel like you’re losing your grip on reality.
They lie to you or change the subject.
When you try to confront your adult child about their behavior, they may lie to you or change the subject. They may make excuses for their behavior, or they may try to make you feel like you’re the wrong one.
They isolate you from your friends and family.
Gaslighters often try to isolate their victims from their friends and family. They may say things like, “Your friends and family don’t understand you,” or “They don’t have your best interests at heart.”
They accuse you of being crazy or paranoid.
If you try to talk to your adult child about their behavior, they may accuse you of being crazy or paranoid. They may say things like, “You’re imagining things” or “You’re making things up.”
If you are experiencing any of these things, it is important to reach out for help. Talk to a trusted friend or family member, or seek professional help from a therapist or counselor.
Here are some additional tips for coping with a gaslighting adult child:
Set boundaries.
It is important to set boundaries with a gaslighting adult child. Decide how much contact you want to have with them and what topics you are willing to discuss.
Don’t engage with them.
When a gaslighter tries to engage you in an argument or conversation, it is best to walk away. Don’t try to reason with them or explain yourself.
Document their behavior.
Start keeping a journal of your adult child’s gaslighting behavior. This can help you to see the pattern of abuse, and it can also be helpful if you decide to seek professional help.
Build a support network.
Surround yourself with supportive friends and family members. Talk to them about what you are going through, and let them help you to cope.
Remember, you are not alone. Many people have been gaslighted by their adult children. There is help available, and you can get through this.
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Hi, I’m Jenny Dean, creator of Floppycats! Ever since my Aunt got the first Ragdoll cat in our family, I have loved the breed. Inspired by my childhood Ragdoll cat, Rags, I created Floppycats to connect, share and inspire other Ragdoll cat lovers around the world,
