Last Updated on July 14, 2021 by Jenny
“The reason I have to give her up is two fold. First of all, I have been looking for almost a year for an apartment here that allows pets- obviously with no luck. The reason I want to move, and the primary reason I have to adopt out Bella is because this apartment is for many reasons is unbelievably noisy. That I have become neurotic because of it is bad enough, but poor Bella is so constantly terrorized and fearful that she has begun living under the bed. I think keeping her here any longer just is not fair to her.
As much as I love her, I love her enough to want to see her in a more safe, secure, and cat friendly environment. She really is not the same cat that she was when I moved here a year & 1/2 ago, and it breaks my heart because she deserves so much more. She is extremely intelligent, well behaved, and was a little sweetheart, but she has become increasingly anti-social. She needs to feel loved and safe. The love I can provide, but the sense of security and safety, I can’t. Here are a couple of pictures of her in her happier days…so beautiful…”
If you are interested in adopting Bella, please contact Sue Rogers at [email protected].
On Mon, Apr 12, 2010 2:42 pm, Sue Rogers wrote:
To Jenny or whomever reads this, you might want to copy and paste it into word as it is rather lengthy.as I write, i can’t avoid the tears. You have my ragdoll Bella on your website for adoption. Initially it was because of a potential move, but in doing so has brought up a lot of emotions. If I am honest with myself I have to admit that I actually have a love/hate relationship with her. I am having a real crisis of conscience and I have been torturing myself over it for a long while now. Let me explain:
It was after losing my 20 yr old, Squeaker I saw a ragdoll in a magazine and
immediately fell in love with those incredible blue eyes. Squeaker had been the most incredibly affectionate cat ever. She actually slept with her head right in my pillow, with her nose on mine, her front paw on my shoulder and her rear paw on my hip. I remember how I struggled initially to get used to the tickle of her fur on my face.
Everything I read about ragdolls convinced me t the ragdoll was the perfect cat for me. I am older now, alone and I really wanted a companion a lap cat, a companion, a kitty to hold, cuddle, and sleep with me. I got Bella 5 years ago to everything I read Bella is the polar opposite of the typical ragdoll. She
looks like a ragdoll, but other than her exquisite blue eyes, and beautiful seal
markings, she has none of the personality traits that make the ragdoll so
lovable, endearing, and desirable. It is obvious that she was not socialized or
handled as a kitten. I have worked with her patiently for nearly 5yr trying to
build trust and slowly overcome physical contact, but I would say in the past year, I have been increasingly impatient with the total lack of progress Bella is not a lap cat at all. She is very skittish & fearful, hates being held or
petted, and prefers solitude to human companionship. Ragdolls are described as being relatively placid and quiet, with fur somewhat like a rabbit’s fur. Bella on the other hand vocally demands or whines, her fur is dry, and she sheds and mattes excessively she is so beautiful, I love her so very much, but her rejection is starting to make me crazy. The process repeats over & over. She rejects me→ I get frustrated, even angry→ I get angry at myself because it is not her fault→- I feel horrendously guilty& end up in tears→ then try to make it up to her. I have always known that I would never have another Squeaker, but all my ragdoll research convinced me that I had a chance of at least 50% on the scale of affection.
It kills me because I know the inconsistency in the way we relate to each other is so unfair to her. I know she is confused which serves only to make things worse and it breaks my heart. Lately, I have been wondering, whether or not I move, if she would be happier with a family not specifically looking for a lap cat, with no needs or expectations,a home where she can feel secure and loved with the consistently she so deserves.
In my head I feel she deserves more but in my heart the thought of giving her up makes me feel so incredibly guilty that I have been crying for weeks. It is torture, my heart is breaking and I honestly do not know what is best. I have tried so hard to be accepting and patient, but Bella is also very smart and knows how to push my buttons. I would truly appreciate any thoughts & /or suggestions anyone might have. I don’t think I have ever felt so guilty or unhappy in my life but I want to do what is best for Bella.
I have come to realize that it is the environment and noise that have caused her so much stress and the accompanying behavior changes. I am now at peace in that, if adopted by the just the right family, she will be so much happier and secure and the lovable kitty that I know she can be. Keeping her here is not fair to her. I was making it all about me but, in fact it really is all about Bella and what is best for her.To do anything else is just selfish.