Ask US Anything: 1 Ragdoll or 2, Cat Collars, Aloof and Uninterested Ragdoll Kitten

Last Updated on July 8, 2021 by Jenny

Our “Ask US Anything” is a series of posts on the site where I share the questions/concerns/ideas that readers have sent in and then the responses from our readers about those questions/concerns/ideas.

1 Ragdoll or 2?

Susan wrote in, “Hello, I am a new ragdoll owner and have a bicolor zeal point male named prince Fredrick. I originally had a deposit on two but the female fell and died at the breeders. Really sad. I am slotted to get another on in April but can’t decide if two is better than one. He seems happy and well adjusted. Any thoughts?”

This is a question I get a lot, so I have a standard response for it:

Hi Susan,

Congrats on your new baby and I am sorry to hear about the little girl.

To tell you whether or not to get another cat is not something I can do. The cat won’t be my responsibility, so it would be unethical to say you should.

Of course another baby means 2x cat litter, 2x cat food, 2x vet bills, etc – so there’s the financial responsibility to consider.

I do think introduction of a new cat is crucial and have a page about that – How to Introduce Cats

Here are similar discussions that happened on Facebook that you might find useful to look through:

1 Ragdoll cat or 2 Ragdolls on Facebook

One Ragdoll Kitten vs. Two Ragdoll Kittens

Hope that helps! Good luck with your decision!

How to Get a Ragdoll to Wear a Cat Collar

Greg wrote in, “I would be interested in knowing how many ragdoll owners have a collar on their kitty. If so, how did you get them used to wearing one?”

So I asked our Facebook community (if you are not on Facebook, you can still read the comments, etc.)

Aloof and Uninterested Ragdoll Kitten

Kim wrote in asking: “Not sure if this is where to submit a question, but I would like some help if possible. In June 2018 I lost my beloved cat Kit to cancer. He had been my best bud for 15 years, and I was devastated by his death. He had been my shadow all that time-sleeping with me, cuddling on the couch, meeting me at the door, following me around.

I was eager to have that kind of relationship again, and since I had heard such good things about Ragdolls, I decided to purchase a purebred kitten. I got Whispurr at 8 weeks old, and he has since been neutered. He is now 6 months old. While he is truly a beautiful kitten, I am very disappointed with his personality (and believe me, it kills me to say that). He is very uninterested in humans, and would rather be with our German shepherd or our 18 year old cat, who wants nothing to do with him. He sleeps either under the bed or in my closet with my shoes or who knows where. If I lock him in my room at night, he will not stay on the bed once I go to bed. If I try to pet him, more often than not, he moves just out of reach. We can pick him up and hold him for a short time if we remain standing, but if you sit down on the couch he immediately starts squirming to get away.

It’s been a long time since I’ve had a kitten, so I’m not sure if his personality might change as he matures or if I just got the one unloving Ragdoll out there. He is very sweet and tolerant, but just so aloof and uninterested in any interaction with people. He’s not afraid or nervous, just doesn’t care about us. He’s definitely not what I was expecting personality-wise, and I don’t know if I was expecting too much or if he really is not typical. Or if there is anything I can do to improve our relationship. Thank you for any help you can give me.”

I replied:

Hi Kim,

Thanks for reaching out. I am so sorry about your Kit.

Thank you for caring enough about Whispurr to have a good relationship with him.

The first red flag about Whispurr was reading that you got him at 8 weeks old – way too young to get them, hate when breeders do that! They aren’t old enough to be released, as their mother hasn’t taught them everything.

I have posted your question on our Facebook page just now, so please give it 24 hours for it to circulate around the globe and check it again to see what suggestions folks have.

You might check out our post Best Books for Understanding Cat Behavior – lots of books to read about that.


Enjoy reading common reader inquiries?  Check out more of our Ask US Anything here: Ask US Anything

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3 thoughts on “Ask US Anything: 1 Ragdoll or 2, Cat Collars, Aloof and Uninterested Ragdoll Kitten

  1. pam-e says:

    Whoops! I wrote that I had lost my dog earlier this year, but it was over a year ago I lost him. It just FEELS like I lost him yesterday…

  2. pam-e says:

    Oh Sweetie my heart is breaking for you and Whispurr. I think it was very brave of you to write in and ask for help. I was in a very similar situation to you and you ABSOLUTELY can improve your relationship with Whispurr.

    Earlier this year I lost my beloved JRT and I still grieve for him every single day. I physically ache for him all the time and the tears are always there at the surface especially when a sad song comes on the radio. I adopted my lilac point Ragdoll FLUFFY a week after my dog died, although I had planned the adoption and the breeder for 3 years prior.

    I got Fluff when he was 12 weeks old, and I have written about our story here:

    Now – here comes the tough love part. I know you are completely grief-struck by the loss of your beloved KIT but Whispurr really needs you to step up and be his mama. I understand you feel disappointed by your relationship with Whispurr but you are the adult in this relationship and only you can fix it.

    Imagine how Whispurr feels knowing he’s a disappointment to you? That you don’t 100% love him for who he is? Can you let go of your grief for a little while and start again with Whispurr? I think we both know that getting another pet to fill the hole in our hearts left by a loss doesn’t work…

    With Fluffy, I had to stop expecting him to be anything like a ragdoll. Every day I got up and said to myself:

    What does Fluffy need from me today? Quality food, spotlessly clean litter, and space to be the unique individual cat he is. I apologised to Fluffy for not being fully present in our relationship, and I promised him I would love him for exactly who he was. I had to drop all my expectations about what a ragdoll should be and just love Fluffy for who he is. I stopped expecting him to be physically affectionate, and I stopped being so “needy” with him. It really worked and Fluffy is very affectionate with me these days…but always on his own terms.

    I don’t think locking Whispurr in the bedroom and forcing the issue is a good idea. I wanted Fluffy to sleep on the bed with me and 90% of the time he just doesn’t want to. I had to accept this and just enjoy the 10% of the time he does sleep on the bed. Those mornings are like Christmas for me!!!

    Can you drop all the negative ways you feel about Whispurr and change them to positives? So, when you find yourself feeling disappointed, say something like:
    Whispurr I love and accept you unconditionally for who you are…

    When you find yourself feeling he is being aloof, say something like:
    Whispurr I respect and honour your boundaries…

    I’ve completely outed myself as a crazy cat lady in this post!!! But I have a happy cat and tht’s all that matters to me!!!

    Whispurr should NEVER have left his fur-mama at 8 weeks old, but he’s only 6 months old now and I truly believe you can turn this around…

    Love Pam & Fluffy

  3. Patti Johnson says:

    WOW! Awesome questions this week, Jenny! Your response to all the questions are always excellent with your advice and forwarding the info onto the FB community for additional help. I have no experience with multiple ragdolls (we have just one, as we can’t really do two due to our apartment rules and space and budget, and she has been thriving for 6+ years now), trying to get a collar on Miss PSB or having a disinterested kitten (boils my blood, too, when breeders act irresponsibly like that letting a kitten go at such a young age!). Hoping and praying all these kitty lovers get the answers & info they seek to help them with their struggles! 🙂 <3

    Big hugs & lots of love & purrs!

    Patti & Miss Pink Sugarbelle 🙂 <3 <3 <3

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